so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
