the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Randomize