is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I supernannyed him into submission
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
