You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
