We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
