I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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