Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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