the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
