Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
