well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
He shit in the fireplace
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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