Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
A+ Viking dick
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
