$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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