grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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