It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
