That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
