wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
