Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Still dying that you shit outside
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
