He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize