Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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