Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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