Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
