i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
