Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Im part way to drunk.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
