so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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