Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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