the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Randomize
