are you so shy because you have an std?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
