roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize