Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
