I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
