i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I think weed is turning my hair brown
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
