i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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