where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
