i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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