As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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