Already got asked if we're dating
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
