I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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