I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
