he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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