I think I died a long time ago.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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