yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
