just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
