just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Randomize
