We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
