Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Gay?
German.
Pity.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
