Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
