she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
