remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
