oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Pooping to opera.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
