so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
