just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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