All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
