i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
