he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
