it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
