So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
