About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
