oh fat girl friday strikes again...
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Randomize
