My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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