i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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