I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
