So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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