Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
