whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
