There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
