please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
