question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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