the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
