Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Your cock deserves a montage
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
